See you on the other side

Seeking a friend for the end of the world year! Anyone else feeling dizzy? I have yet to meet an amusement park ride I couldn’t stomach, but this year, and the previous one, and the coming one (I can feel it), oh sweetie darlings, get me out of here is what I’ve felt like screeching quite a few times. But here we are, the lucky ones with enough breath in their lungs to bicker and bellyache, ringing in another new year, hoping for the best, expecting… What are we expecting at this point? That the Covid vaccine reaches everyone and the pandemic subsides? [If this is a test of our collaborative powers methinks we stinks.] That it’s not another record-breaking year for climate calamities? [And if you dare claim Don’t Look Up is a silly satire…you, me, outside, in five, no gloves, no guards.] That the war in Ukraine doesn’t escalate? [Is Putin obsessed? Possessed? Both? Desperate to be remembered for something other than robbing his country? Absolutely.] That Keeping Up with the Kardashians is truly over, for good? [No comment lest this was your favorite thing ever.]

You tell me. If you feel like it. Many a conversation over the past months has swiftly reached a can-we-not-talk-about-everything-we-should-probably-talk-about-because-it’s-just-too-much-right-now consensus. You do what you gotta do to get through. Constant hand-wringing makes your joints ache, and stress-induced high cortisol levels cause all sorts of health problems. Not trivializing anyone’s pain or problems, just acknowledging we are all stressed out because these are genuinely stressful times, and that it’s hurting us on many levels. We need outlets, we need respites, we need to cut ourselves some slack, and we need one another.

So keep in touch with people; this pandemic has given the perfect excuse and opportunity to reach out to those you haven’t spoken to in ages. A headcount of sorts. You never know what people may be going through all alone, and some are better equipped than others to help and comfort you should you need a shoulder and an ear. 

And is this a rambling post or what? Sorry, dearest denizens, but you are one of my shoulders and ears, so not sorry. [My sister turns 40 in a few weeks and we can’t get together to celebrate and you bet your sweet cheeks I’m mad and sad and feeling altogether bad.] And I promise I am here for you too! One of the nicest compliments I have ever received came from a friend in crisis. “You make me feel so calm,” she said. “Like everything’s going to be all right.” I sure hope I’ve been more of a calming presence than a firestarter. A benevolent, non-volatile firestarter? 😬

So, what do you think? Should we end this year with some karaoke everyone on a quest to find peace and common ground can relate to? Why the heck not! What are we singing? Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Santa Esmeralda version, for all the dancers out there. It’s been yet another roller coaster of a year, and all we can do is hang on to our hats and brace ourselves for yet another. I’ll hold your hand if you’ll hold mine. Deal?

With love and champagne kisses,

Dita

Love…thy will be done

There’s a beautiful fullish moon in the sky, just in time for the winter solstice. The snow we were promised a while back never came, but there’s still a chance we’ll get a white Christmas; maybe just an inch, a few centimeters of snow, but a crisp and clean backdrop all the same.

How do you intend to spend the next two weeks, dearest denizens? On the road? In a onesie? Omicron is threatening to gatecrash every home, workplace, and community, and governments, city fathers, mothers, and second cousins will have no choice but to reinstate restrictions and lockdowns in the hopes of buying time and saving lives. It’s the ghost of Christmas past in a new robe.

How much more? How much longer? How are we supposed to cope? I wish I knew, sweetie darlings. All I know is we can’t give in to the anger and frustration so many of us are feeling, and for valid, perfectly understandable and human reasons. One of the side effects of Covid seems to be the erosion of manners. And I know it’s always something, always has been. O tempora! O mores! Rock ‘n’ roll corrupted the boomers, television ruined my generation, and social media is messing with the next, all who dare participate, really. That’s the narrative. But it’s not without a kernel of truth.

A certain amount of entitlement seems to go hand in hand with the equality social media and comparable platforms provide, and where there’s entitlement there’s always the drive to have the last word, and where there’s a drive to have the last word there’s the temptation to view others as not so equal anymore but as inferior should they not listen and agree, and that temptation breeds another, the need to ridicule, hurt and humiliate. Is that the loop so many seem to be caught in at the moment, screaming at strangers, quarreling with acquaintances, severing ties and burning bridges?

I know I have felt anger and frustration, oh so many times, over the past twenty-two months. It’s a valid, perfectly understandable and human reaction. You’d have to be Jesus himself to put up with what life keeps throwing at you and never for a fleeting second think that fuck this shit, I’m done. Done with people; what a bunch of unthinking and unfeeling morons.

Never met Jesus, not sure I ever will, but I hear he hated on no one, at most reprimanded hypocrites and greedy bastards. We have no problem hating on people we don’t know and will never meet. Since it’s Christmas (even if you don’t observe it) why not do as Jesus did and try to love (or at the very least listen to and try to understand) people you don’t know and will never meet. It’s a tad harder than dismissing and despising them when you don’t see eye to eye, but we have so many issues to deal with, so many problems to solve, and it would make everything go faster and that much smoother if we did it together. I know it’s a lot to ask, I know I fail at it all the time, but I’m trying. Give it a try with me? It’s almost Christmas, and on Christmas you get to make a wish, and this is mine.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

Temperature: -2/28.5 degrees with snow on the way.

Drinking: some belated wedding anniversary Pommery later on.

Eating: a test version of this year’s bûche de Noël, my son’s Christmas bravura. It’s a yes from me.

Watching: the posturing and grandstanding of budding and actual autocrats.

Listening: to their BS.

Reading: suggestions! Catherine Belton, Ruth Ben-Ghiat, Luke Harding, Anne Applebaum, Masha Gessen, and anyone else who dares speak truth to power, such as this year’s Nobel Peace Prize laureates. Maria Ressa and Dmitry Andreyevich Muratov were awarded “for their efforts to safeguard freedom of expression, which is a precondition for democracy and lasting peace.” There are some 35 working democracies in this world, and north of 140 countries we can label deficient democracies, hybrid regimes or moderate to hard autocracies. Democracy and social peace may be the ideal but they are not the norm; they are under attack and in decline due to populists, demagogues, despots and oligarchs eager to divide and conquer. Each and every one of us plays a part in enabling their rise or expediting their fall. How we vote, how we speak and write, how we shop and handle our finances, how we treat and regard our fellow humans. Our actions and words matter. Our silence and indifference have an even bigger impact.

Writing: season’s greetings.

Thinking: all the posturing and grandstanding, all the BS, makes the lot of you look like dicks, only smaller.

Feeling: Up and at ‘em, sweetie darlings, tyranny isn’t going to fight itself.

December, sweetie darlings!

Have a good one!

So now what?

Temperature: on the rise. #COP26 #WhatGretaSaid #AndSimonKofe

Drinking: Would some Beaujolais nouveau help? What do you mean it’s only Wednesday?

Eating: gingerbread. I made the first batch over the weekend. Lo and behold, Ebenezer and the Grinches had no problem helping themselves to a few and then some.

Watching: catastrophe movies and other artistic endeavors of the same genre come to life. This is an emergency, sweetie darlings, and we are all on call.

Listening: Don’t tell a soul but I’ve been listening to some Christmas-y tunes. Not like a full-blown playlist, just a favorite song here and there to lift spirits and help with the baking and other pre-Xmas chores. Oh, don’t shake your head, I warned you I’m going Stealth Elf. And I have. Sure, my cover is blown at home, but who’s gonna stop me? I would like to see them try. *pulls out a candy cane shaped and colored lightsaber*

Reading: Grand Hotel Europa by Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer. Read it if you’re European. Read it even if you aren’t. Available in several languages.

Writing: a letter to Santa asking him to bring me a candy cane shaped and colored lightsaber, if there’s a sustainable way to manufacture one, because that would be awesome.

Thinking: After the diluted outcome of COP26, there are reasons to be hopeful and cheerful, and there are reasons to be fearful and doubtful. I wish we had more of the former and less of the latter.

Feeling: like I let my children down, like we all let every single child on the planet down, when my youngest said that he hopes he lives to be a hundred because he wants to see how this ends. Sweet baby Jesus, sweetie darlings! And he didn’t sound as despondent as I feel, he sounded almost curious, as if he knows full well what’s coming in the not-so-distant future, but since he doesn’t know how and when he’ll truly start feeling the effects in earnest there’s no sense in panicking just yet. Oh but they see and hear everything, dearest denizens. And this is how we’ll be remembered. What do you think some future or alien species will make of our dogged self-destruction?

“Were they stupid? Was it an accident?”
“Doesn’t look like one. Looks like a 500-year-old long con they called capitalism got out of hand.”
“Hmm. It had its pros, it seems.”
“But they couldn’t contain the cons, apparently. Or wouldn’t.”
“So, we’re going with stupid with marks of greed and arrogance?”
“Well, no fully developed species does this. The other lifeforms seem to be thriving, though.”
“I’ll make a note of that. Okay, next sector then. Lunch first? I know a superb place near Tau Ceti. Far off, I know, but worth it.”
“Let’s go. Shame though. It looks kind of beautiful.”

Freedom! Forever!

The 5th of November, sweetie darlings. You know what to do.

Shut up and dance with me 🍉

This Halloween I’ll be wearing curls, a flared skirt and a watermelon. A baby melon, fit for a smallish party. Who am I going as? Rhymes with Maybe Mouseman from Flirty Glancing.

Need a pick-me-up-move-your-butt break? Clear some space or sway in place, doesn’t matter, just let the energy and 80s esthetics put a smile on your face. Have a great weekend, dearest denizens! 😘 

(Courage, Glasgow! #COP26)

Santa Claus ain’t coming to town (or so you think)

With the days growing shorter and with no Thanksgiving to celebrate (just an imported, materialistic Halloween clashing with a somber Scandinavian All Saints, not that fun and games is a bad thing but could we make it more sustainable, yes we could and should) it’s all downhill from September. Christmas is the light at the end of the tunnel. But why sit and wait when you could start celebrating say...two months prior? Gently smoothing your way in, slowly introducing elements, carefully selecting gifts, if you intend to give any. Surely a saner and healthier method than the mad last-minute dash and face-stuffing stuffed into a few days that causes stress, headaches and gastrointestinal problems. No one needs that, surely.

That’s what I proposed we do at Casa Dita. Start early! Imagine my surprise when my proposal lost the vote. Inconceivable! I was prepared to do all the work. I repeat: ALL the work, because it wouldn’t feel like work, I would enjoy every minute of it. [Alas, I am beaten but not discouraged. And if you’re in the market for an enthused and efficient elf to help you out, you know where to find me. Will bring my own PPE. Will work for rum raisin fudge and Irish Coffee.]

But no. Apparently, I’m married to Ebenezer Scrooge and my children take after the Grinch. What disappointments the men in my life are, dearest denizens! To say no to a no-brainer! Let them soak in the dark and see how that feels like after yet another year of needing all the pick-me-ups imaginable to keep you going. Or…is it just me who needs them? Because I’ll admit that once upon a time I felt as they do, super annoyed when Christmas started invading the stores in October. Now I grudgingly admit I don’t mind so much. Strikethrough grudgingly, I’m owning it. Yes, I’m one of those outlandish people who get a twinkle in their eye when they catch that first glimpse of Christmas. Just the thought brightens the darkness of November and December. After Christmas, the days will finally, gradually grow longer. For me, foremost, Christmas is a promise of light to come and proof that darkness will never get the last word.

Oh…ohh…I see…all this sentimentality…maybe I’m just…getting old? I can’t wait, sweetie darlings! I know some absolutely awesome older women. They have seen it all and done it all, and when they look at you and listen to you, you know, you just know they know something you don’t with how gently powerful they are, and you can’t help but envy them their peace and poise, hoping you’ll be half as wise and worldly if you ever reach their age. And I know aging means pains and aches, physical and emotional, but I know of no other way to live a long life! If you do, gmail me (ms.ditaparker), let’s talk. Okay, happy Friday, have an excellent weekend! Or a tolerable one.

P.S. I’m doing it, the Grinches and that Scrooge notwithstading. I’m slipping in a decoration here…a textile there…soon everywhere. One. At. A. Time. By the time they realize what’s happening…presto, it’s Christmas!

P.P.S. Book recommendation! Your literary Advent calendar in 24 chapters.

How to save a life

Temperature: a cloudy, windy 10/50 degrees

Drinking: It’s too early in the season for glögg, isn’t it? Then again, do we abide by stuffy conventions and restrictions, hmm, sweetie darlings? No, we don’t.

Eating: Chloe brought me a snack (a mouse) from her foray into the garden, and is eager to share. We agreed she should have it since she did all the work. Good girl!

Watching: Have you seen No Time to Die? Did you enjoy it? Any…misty eyes? I was moved, sweetie darlings. By James Bond. I really was! For reasons I can’t talk about lest I ruin it for you, and I’d actively avoided any news and possible spoilers, managed to catch it early on, and was caught by surprise, which is always a lovely thing and all too rare these days, what with trolls trying to spoil the magic. And I always thought, or rather did at the beginning, that Craig’s Bond was too hard and cold, too one-dimensional. Which of course left plenty of room for growth and he did grow, to some extent. And he grew on me. But…where do we go from here?

Listening: to the Canada geese leaving. Go! Flee!! Before you freeze!!! Not that it’s been all that cold, but they know what they’re doing. One hopes.

Reading: The Disaster Tourist by Yun Ko-eun, and Paradis City by Jens Lapidus.

Thinking: Neurons that fire together wire together. (Hebb's Law) Meaning, we reinforce what we repeat, whether it’s a habit, a routine, a way of thinking. Good or bad, practice makes perfect. What would you like to do differently, dearest denizens?

Feeling: like I’m losing my patience with anti-vaxxers (and I am a patient soul, believe me), those who have no medical reason to refuse the Covid vaccine. I’m sorry but there you have it; without it there’s no hope of containing this. I had a lengthy but awkward discussion with someone who revealed they had not and would not be getting the vaccine. They ended the discussion by telling me that it is an individual choice and they are harming no one but themselves if they get sick. Yes, you’ve made up your mind based on what you believe is best for you. No, the harm has a social dimension and repercussions. You are endangering your family, friends and anyone you come in contact with. You have to treat every encounter as a possible danger to you. And yes, many experience but a mild infection, but some get truly sick, some suffer from long Covid, some suffer permanent damage to nerves and internal organs, some end up in intensive care, and some die. You will not know which ticket you drew until faced with it. Fit as a fiddle? Good for you but won’t make a difference in this lottery. Unless you protect it your body is a potential variant incubator. You won’t want to be remembered as the source of yet another new strain. Hospitals are under strain, the staff exhausted and exasperated. Non-emergency treatments and surgeries on hold means conditions may become life-threatening. Cancers and other tumors go undiagnosed. You are not simply exercising your free will, you are being selfish and casually cruel toward your fellow humans. Have qualms or questions? Don’t consult the Google machine, consult a doctor. Don’t assume that because you are “never ill” (Really? Think back a bit. No, seriously.), this won’t affect you. A skydiver may jump a thousand times without incident. And have jump number 1,001 be their last. It’s all good and well to be an optimist. It’s even better to be prepared, especially when you're being offered every chance to save a life including yours.

The past two weeks, sweetie darlings!

 Today: R&R. Rest and recuperative raking. R&RR anyone?

No more “I love you’s”

Oh, sweetie darlings, my heart is breaking. Nothing compared to the pain one of my oldest, dearest, nearest, till-death-do-us-part friends is feeling, of course. Like death, divorce might not come as a total shock and surprise, but once the decision is made and final the torment isn’t over no matter how relieved you feel that the push and pull, the fighting, the on-off-and-on-again misery-go-round is over.

Like in the death of someone close, you are required to keep a level head and start taking care of business when what you really need is a cabin in the woods and some privacy to sort out yourself first. But there is no time, and not all divorces are friendly, let’s-do-this-in-an-adult-fashion affairs; many (most?) are the result of a long period of infighting where the road to reconciliation crumbled along the way and neither partner has the will or strength to begin construction anew. Separate ways, then, new roads and vistas.

She has been accused of being strong (accused! sweetie darlings, as if strength were a handicap; is it, in women? is that what those men were saying?) and will now put all that resilience of hers to good use, I’m sure. But strong doesn’t mean impervious, cold-hearted or flippant. She will need her friends and family every soul-searing step of the way. So will he, and my godson, a family blowing apart.

It happens all the time, I know. I’m just so fucking sorry and saddened it had to happen to them.

These dreams

Temperature: 15/59 degrees after a very cool start to September. Summer warmth didn’t stay, it left, and we had another extreme where it rained, and rained, and rained. It rained all August, and the grass turned green but of course the bigger trees were goners, shedding yellow leaves as if it were fall already. Since it started early, it’s gonna be a long one. Autumn, I mean.

Drinking: afternoon tea instead of coffee. That’s how chilly I’ve been feeling, sweetie darlings.

Eating: Had some mushroom marinara ravioli for lunch. Simple and simply de-lec-ta-ble.

Watching: the strangest of dreams. Dreams and nightmares. Are you having any? “I’ll ugly cry until you leave,” the last one ended. I had bumped into someone I’d wanted to bump into for a very long time. How they knew that, or me, who knows; dream logic, you know. And nerves don’t make me run or give me the waterworks but now I ran and upon being stopped burst into anxious tears and panicky pleas. I’ll ugly cry until you leave? Oh but that gave me the giggles. And they were having none of it. Too bad we never got to chat, though, it would have been bizarre for sure.

Listening: to something evocative: Morning Landscape by Moritz Bintig. Find a quiet space or your earbuds, put this on and tell me where you went. Or don’t! Happy trails. 😘

Reading: The Burning Girls by C. J. Tudor. And when you do pick up one of her books, as you should, dearest denizens, be sure to have plenty of time on your hands because those hands won’t want to put that book down, they simply won’t be able to.

Writing: in my mind a note of thank you and happy birthday to two formative powers: Brazil and my maternal grandfather, 199 and 101 respectively. I miss you both so very much. (Brazil, we are all very worried about you.)

Thinking: Sweet baby Jesus it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the news. Not for the sheer volume of it but for the sheer stupidity, the feeling you’re left with, the embarrassment you feel, ashamed to be living in such regressive, such idiotic times. Sorry to sound so negative but after four billion years of evolution this is the best we can do? I have said this before and I’ll say it again: Dreams should fuel the future. We are giving our children nightmares.

Shine on

Age is just a number, right? Yours is quite impressive, though. 😉 A mark of wisdom and maturity, surely. So make the most of it! 🥂

For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
(From Morituri Salutamus by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Waiting for a star to fall

 It is peak Perseids, dearest denizens, so lift your eyes to the skies! 🌠

Happy Birthday, Tove

"Moomintroll thought about how he loved everything; the forest and the sea, the rain and the wind, the sunshine, the grass and the moss, and how impossible it would be to live without them all, and this made him feel very, very sad."

Tove Jansson, Comet In Moominland, 1946

Obrigado à vida que me tem dado tanto

 

Oh, sweetie darlings, I got the most wonderful gift for my birthday courtesy of my Dad. He had finally, after years of careful consideration (you know how these things go), digitized all the ciné films and slides he’d filmed and taken in Brazil and during our pit stops between South America and Europe (we did some exploring on the way). Filming and photographing are hobbies of his, so what I now have, oh dearest denizens, it's a treasure trove, a time machine, a magic carpet ride. I’ve been going through them all week, forcing my family to take part (“Mom, I don’t know these people!” “But you must remember that street, it’s hardly changed!”), and it has been so moving and rousing I’m sure I’ve been a bit…tiresome. Am I getting old, is it these times we live in, the forced separation? Don’t know, don’t care, I’m just so happy and grateful that these moments have been stored and that so many memories have been restored, and I know I can’t go back but I can look back, step back in time, just for a visit, and feel my parents smiling in my soul.

The abyss stares back

Temperature: 20/68 degrees. It hasn’t been this cool in…well over a month. It’s but a brief respite, the heat promised to return over the weekend and stay put for another X weeks. A subcontinent once preoccupied with keeping warm is now working fast to learn how to keep cool. That means changes to energy use and production, construction of housing and infrastructure, everything under the scorching sun and increasing rains. How to help the natural world adjust is another matter.

Drinking: I made rhubarb juice! Again!!

Eating: And like twelve different pies. It’s quite high-yielding, our patch. Not complaining, mind you. I freeze what we don’t use so we get to taste summer all year long.

Watching: my favorite Austen, Brontë and Gaskell adaptations.

Listening: to the sounds of summer, which my youngest has been recording, both audio and visual. I thought how wise and sweet of him until we chatted about it and I realized he is recording things he expects to lose over time, at least to some extent. I had to excuse myself and go cry in the bathroom. This. This is what we are doing. This is what our dawdling is doing. To our children and their future. They are being so very brave and hopeful, so positive and innovative, because the alternative is this…abyss.

Reading: my favorite Austen, Brontë and Gaskell novels.

Thinking: The Pegasus project revelations, ugh and duh, another Evil Corp at it, and not the only one, everything that can be done will be and is being done, so crying that this is not what it’s meant for is the Zuckerberg defense, and we all know his motives are both obvious and dubious, it’s like arming yourself for personal/national/regional safety and defense, the business end of your arsenal is still meant for threats and offense, and for all your, ahem, good and noble intentions, that is what it is being used for so zip it, or fix it, or have some standards, the bar doesn’t seem all that high so it shouldn’t be all that hard for a security software company, no, that’s like calling KFC a vitamins and supplements supplier, insecurity company then, and what good is end-to-end encryption when the whole device can be hijacked on the hush-hush, come to think of it, and you know what else I’m thinking, my blog so I’ll tell you, not interested then what are you still doing here, life is short, the clock is ticking, yes, so, with all your possible and probable resources, all your data and know-how, all that you could be doing, this is the scope of your ambition, this is what you’d rather do above all else, enable oppression, drive division, for profit, o-kay, but with everything going on in the world, all the problems waiting to be solved, this is your contribution, o-kay, okay okay okay, just wondering, always wondering, about everything, one of my favorite pastimes, truly, just endlessly curious, but, ew, eternal shame on you, if I were a vindictive person I’d wish long covid upon the whole lot of you at it, or maybe a visit from some other virus, something you only dreamt of but couldn’t quite make happen, you know, because this is absolute we-sure-are-being-humongous-dicks-but-do-we-give-a-flying-fuck-hell-no-show-us-the-money assholery, but since I'm not, what I wish is for some form of common agreement that this has gone too far for far too long and has to stop.

Feeling: This calls for more Austen, Brontë and Gaskell.

Smultronställe 🍓

Temperature: a sunny cloudy sunny then cloudy 29.5/85 degrees.

Drinking: is not a good idea in this heat, sweetie darlings, alcohol is a diuretic.

Watching: Black Monday. The cast and the writing, the costumes, hair and makeup...two thumbs way up.

Listening: to plans being made, we’re leaving the city for a bit.

Reading: God Equation: The Quest for a Theory of Everything by Michio Kaku.

Writing: birthday invitations now that it’s okay to gather outside, and we have two birthdays to celebrate this month, including mine. Yes, you’re invited. Bring bubbly! Yes, I know what I just said about alcohol hydrating you. I’ll provide the water, snacks and cake. Chocolate? Strawberry? Mango, lime, some other fruit? RSVP ASAP!

Thinking: The heat, the humidity, the droughts, the rains, the fires, the extremes the flora and fauna, our bodies, homes, infrastructure can’t and should not be forced to adapt to…damnation, dearest denizens! Can we sue the fossil fuel industry for criminal intent of the reckless kind? They knew. And decided not only not to care but actively obfuscate the hell out of it.

Feeling: Pride Month is done but the work is not so let’s keep banging that drum and supporting our fellow humans in their fight for autonomy because equal rights are human rights and WTF Poland and Hungary (et al. mind you) no seriously WTF how dare you marginalize the marginalized even further and conflate queer with pedophilia NO SERIOUSLY self-determination look it up your policies are damaging and your attitude an insult and your values so dated and so regressive Europe gasps in shame and no child no youth no adult should be afraid of being and showing their true self as we only get to ride this roller coaster once and how dare you squeeze yourself into someone else’s car and spoil the fun of living and strip others of the right to live with dignity no se-ri-ous-ly how dare you how could you ever think it's about turning someone into someone they are not it is and has always been about allowing every single soul to be who they are because we are who we are and love is love and love is the higher law.

Man, it’s a hot one 👒

Temperature: Well, it is for us: 32.5/90.5 degrees. I hear it’s 46/115 in Las Vegas, so I’m not complaining. Happy summer solstice, sweetie darlings! ☀️ Or winter solstice, depending. 🌐

Eating: watermelon and brie.

Drinking: water and then some more water.

Watching: the miracle of growth.

Listening: to bumblebees in the flowering raspberry.

Reading: about business anthropology.

Thinking: Dualism, capitalism, neoliberalism, growthism...WTF are we doing?

Feeling: Sit, be still, and listen, for you are drunk and we are on the edge of the roof. (Rumi)

He said a Lambo would be nice

 ...so I got him one! And he absolutely loved it. 

Happy Birthday, sweetie darling,
Love and air tickles,
Mom

Sky full of song

Temperature: a drizzly 15/59 degrees

Eating: in a minute.

Drinking: It’s time to switch from red to rosé now that summer is just around the corner.

Watching: the days getting longer and the nights shorter. 😊

Listening: to birds migratory and local from dawn till dusk. 🥰

Reading: Putin’s People: How the KGB Took Back Russia and Then Took On the West by Catherine Belton, and When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn.

Writing: It’s a birthday bonanza right around this time, so cards, actual tangible colorful cards, handwritten, to be sent all over the place.

Thinking: about doing a döstädning inspired by Margareta Magnusson, I mean there are things in this house that have overstayed their welcome, for sure, and things my family would puzzle over in the event of my sudden departure, or, as they say in plain English, death, cocksure.

Feeling: re: above, we should probably keep the adult toys in one box and put some sort of warning label on it. I know, it’s life, so what? I know, but have you stumbled upon your parent’s/parents’ or comparable adult’s/adults’ sex toys? Yeah, you don’t want to know. You may well know, but you don’t want to know.

Diggi-loo diggi-ley

Temperature: Another cool May Day on the horizon, but with restrictions still in place there’s no chance of a friends & family picnic so... Oh, well.

Eating: Churros de doce de leite with…

Drinking: …May Day mead my husband made. Gostoso!

Watching: Shadow and Bone. Not quite as enamored with it as I thought I would be. Missing the movies, as in the big screen experience.

Listening: It was comforting to hear that not everything has changed; Eurovision still sounds like Eurovision! I listened to the recap without looking at the videos, and I think I spotted Lady Gaga, Ellie Goulding, Elton John, Sia, and something dating back to 1984. Go see if you agree!

Reading: Stuart Turton back-to-back. Yes, I’m probably the only person in the book-reading world who hasn’t read The Seven Deaths, but we’ve gone through this already; when you read in more than one language, well, so many books and only one lifetime is your conundrum. I heard it’s being adapted for television. Can’t wait to see how they’ll pull that off!

Thinking: Is it my turn to get the vaccine yet, please?! No, they’re still doing the 50+ age bracket. Us forty-somethings will just have to wait our turn.

Feeling: Haven’t been this excited about getting a vaccine since… I’ve never been this excited about getting a vaccine.

Love your Mother 🌱

The Angel of Music sings songs in my head

Temperature: a cool but sunny 6/43 degrees

Eating: It’s Christmas all over again, isn’t it, Easter, foodwise. But good home-cooked meals and the occasional drink aren’t restricted or prohibited like so many other things are right now, so enjoy! If that’s the sort of thing you do enjoy. And it doesn’t have to be anything fancy or costly, just something that puts a smile of contentment on your face.

Drinking: I’m thinking red wine from Portugal would go well with...a whole bunch of savory treats.

Watching: musicals of late. Imagine the cacophony I now suffer every second I’m not focused on something else. It’s like a radio station, your mind, isn’t it? If it’s not filled with talk there’s music.

Listening: see above.

Reading: The German House by Annette Hess. (Available in several languages, possibly yours!)

Thinking: Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. (Carl Jung)

Feeling: someone nudging my chin. Again, a bit harder now. I open my eyes but there’s no one there.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams

Nature arms each person with some faculty which enables them to do easily some feat impossible to any other. 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Joyful International Day of Happiness, dearest denizens. I hope you find your bliss. 💙

Unity

It's International Women's Day and I'm exchanging clinking glasses, kisses, hugs and flexed biceps emojis with friends. It's a celebration, a chance to lift and carry one another, but one laced with sisterly sorrow. The world keeps torturing women in such subtle and sadistic ways that it's hard not to take it personally. The mere knowledge of millennia of torment can be dispiriting and debilitating, as if we can feel the fates of our foremothers in our bones.

And to those now thinking "I'm sorry but it's 2021, get over it and get on with it": I'm sorry but I can't help you, I simply don't have time to educate you, get smart and then get cracking, it's an emergency and we are all on call. 2020 was a major setback for women and women's rights (women's rights!! we need a separate term for what ought to be universal and inalienable, for fuck's sake) and we will keep on sliding in 2021.

In a perfect world we present our case, a perfectly justified one, and presto, the world tips the scales and we find ourselves on an equal footing. In the real world life is a steeplechase without handicaps; men have a disproportionate, institutionalized, age-old advantage over women. It's possibly the stupidest thing humanity has ever invented and perpetuated. Gender inequality hurts women and men alike. Our lives would be easier, happier, more prosperous and peaceful were women given a fair chance. Gender equality is in everyone's best interest, economically, ethically and environmentally. Every vote, voice and act against gender equality is self-defeating and self-destructive.

And if you still don't know what I'm talking about then you've just figured out what I'm talking about: men and women share a planet but live in two different realities.

What becomes of the brokenhearted

Temperature: a sunshiny 7.5/45.5 degrees, but the Arctic cold is making a comeback. Oh well, spring is coming. Spring is coming!

Eating: Is it too early to start sampling Easter eggs? Just so you’ll be a discerning buyer in April? What about mämmi? It looks like something scraped straight out of a diaper, but pour some vanilla cream on it et voilà, it’s an Easter delicacy worth a try. Plus rye is good for you! And vanilla cream is good period so what can you lose?

Drinking: maté

Watching: The Fall

Listening: to Bolsonaro’s unconscionable BS re: the Brazilian government’s Covid response.

Reading: Sebastian Fitzek. If you like Thomas Harris, you’ll gobble up Herr Fitzek.

Thinking: On a scale of mellow to oh-my-fucking-god-I-am-so-done-with-this, how stressed out are you, sweetie darlings? I’ve been feeling a bit down lately, worrying over relatives who are feeling even more down after a year of unease and isolation with no end date in sight. Yes, it’s coming, but when? When will we be together again? What will life look like from now on? Will we have to live in fear of catching our deaths for the rest of our lives? Pretty much, yes, just like we’ve had to reconcile ourselves to the risk of influenza, dengue, and everything else out there.

Feeling: my son’s pain. He is nursing a broken heart, his first major breakup. Remember yours? How sure you were the world was ending and how you knew you’d never be happy again? With his limited life experience, with how much of a chain of frustrated hopes and plans the past twelve months have been, I can’t help but worry, so I’ll be watching him closely.

Heart-shaped world

Droplets start falling, steam gathers all around. The radio down low, some oldies but goldies station, up next: Heaven by Bryan Adams. He takes my hand, gives a cheeky wink and I know, I just know he’s going to say something cheesy, or stupid, probably both.
“Tunnel of love, baby.”
Where are we?
The car wash.

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetie darlings, wherever you are. 💘
(I sincerely hope not the car wash. Should you be, I sincerely hope there’s bubbly. For you. The one in the driver's seat can lick the windows. 😉)

A brand new day

I'm thinking of calling the White House.

Day One
"Good morning, may I speak with President Trump, please?"
"Mr. Trump is no longer the President."
"That's right, yes, thank you."

Day Two
"Good morning, may I speak with President Trump, please?"
"Mr. Trump is no longer the President."
"That's right, yes, thank you."

Day Three
"Good morning, may I speak with President Trump, please?"
"Mr. Trump is no longer the President."
"That's right, yes, thank you."

. . .

Day Twenty-One
"Good morning, may I speak with President Trump, please?"
"Ma'am, I have to ask, why do you insist on calling? I have told you repeatedly that Mr. Trump is no longer the President of the United States."
"That's right, yes, thank you. I will never tire of hearing that."

Bridge over troubled water

Temperature: -5/23 degrees with snow, finally, but whoever turned on the snow cannon, please turn it off!

Eating: cacio e pepe pasta in a minute.

Drinking: I’d love some crispy white from Tuscany with that, but Protestant Northern Europe tends to frown upon middle-of-the-day-middle-of-the-week imbibing. I’ve become quite the Lutheran.

Watching: The Bureau, not another version of The Office, mind you.

Listening: to Another Sky: Music For Winter Vol. I.

Reading: The Double X Economy: The Epic Potential of Women’s Empowerment by Linda Scott.

Thinking: about free speech. The right to speak freely. By all means do, but if what you say is against the law, be prepared to suffer the consequences of your utterances. But where do you draw the line? What if what you say is illegal because your government says so? Making a meme out of Putin, mocking Erdogan, or bad-mouthing Xi is out of the question. It's silence or prison in these countries. And there is your line and la différance. Where the majority of people have drawn the line and where the person or party in power decided it lies. Which do you prefer? Rules we have agreed upon or rules dictated from above? No rules at all? A free-for-all? That never ends well. That's the Rudy Giuliani Method of trial by combat. We've tried that over the centuries. And decided we're not doing that again, agreed? So what the hell are you doing salivating over the thought of beating up the press, your perceived opponents and anyone else you feel like messing with in the name of law, order and democratic rule, you misguided fool being used as a tool, you went on the internet, didn't you, and found a tribe and your self-worth and somehow it hinges on tearing down some other tribe and their self-worth because the system is too ambiguous and immutable and there has to be something you can do because you cast your vote and it didn't go your way and now you are mad and this is not right and you've been lied to. Yes, you’ve been had, my friend. By the man who promised to support and defend the Constitution, and who only cared about supporting those loyal to him and defending his personal and business interests. Wanna get mad, get mad at him. And that's what people did. Voted him out. In a free, fair, peaceful election, and there is an abundance of evidence to support that and nothing but hearsay, conspiracy theories and outright lies to the contrary. If you resort to violence to enforce those lies, don't be surprised if you aren't hailed for your patriotism but jailed for terrorism. It’s not about what you want as an individual but what people want as a nation. It’s certainly not about what one man wants. Autocrats elect themselves. After Putin comes Putin, after Erdogan more Erdogan, and after Xi comes more Xi. Democratic societies get to choose. Celebrate that, honor that, because the alternative is a prison and a nightmare for all.

Feeling: Ad-based, revenue-based streaming, it gives the same amount of space and clout to anti-vaxxers and research-based medicine alike, to holocaust deniers and evidence-based history alike, to truths and lies and every manner of distortion in between. Is it any wonder some are lost, dazed and confused? Is it any wonder last week on Capitol Hill looked like a cosplay con gone rogue with the Duck Dynasty and a guy in the Chewbacca bikini breaking through billions worth of national defense, as one Twitter user put it, with people ready to get violent and people with no clue of what was happening, and some amazed they were maced when they were simply taking part in the time-honored tradition of violently overthrowing the government also known as a coup, and yet carnivalizing the scene takes the focus away from the fact that some were and are dead serious and dangerous and should be stopped in their tracks, while giving a mic and a camera to trolls and other rebels without a cause is never a good idea, it just muddies the waters. So that's where we're at. And tech companies have not suddenly developed a conscience and discovered morality, they are scared. Scared of losing revenue, being regulated, sued, of employees walking out or organizing. So it's about money. And what of money and politics? Doesn’t buying your way into power, political donations, funding elections, disenfranchise the poor? Is it any wonder many feel their voice isn’t as audible, their concerns as pressing, as the voice and concerns of those in power and now deciding for them? Equality of opportunity. Is it real? Really real? What about equality of condition? As things stand, can the disenfranchised ever expect to get a fair shake? Trump was not the answer, agreed? More tax cuts for the rich and less regulation across the board is not the answer, it’s just more of the same.