Obrigado à vida que me tem dado tanto

 

Oh, sweetie darlings, I got the most wonderful gift for my birthday courtesy of my Dad. He had finally, after years of careful consideration (you know how these things go), digitized all the ciné films and slides he’d filmed and taken in Brazil and during our pit stops between South America and Europe (we did some exploring on the way). Filming and photographing are hobbies of his, so what I now have, oh dearest denizens, it's a treasure trove, a time machine, a magic carpet ride. I’ve been going through them all week, forcing my family to take part (“Mom, I don’t know these people!” “But you must remember that street, it’s hardly changed!”), and it has been so moving and rousing I’m sure I’ve been a bit…tiresome. Am I getting old, is it these times we live in, the forced separation? Don’t know, don’t care, I’m just so happy and grateful that these moments have been stored and that so many memories have been restored, and I know I can’t go back but I can look back, step back in time, just for a visit, and feel my parents smiling in my soul.

The abyss stares back

Temperature: 20/68 degrees. It hasn’t been this cool in…well over a month. It’s but a brief respite, the heat promised to return over the weekend and stay put for another X weeks. A subcontinent once preoccupied with keeping warm is now working fast to learn how to keep cool. That means changes to energy use and production, construction of housing and infrastructure, everything under the scorching sun and increasing rains. How to help the natural world adjust is another matter.

Drinking: I made rhubarb juice! Again!!

Eating: And like twelve different pies. It’s quite high-yielding, our patch. Not complaining, mind you. I freeze what we don’t use so we get to taste summer all year long.

Watching: my favorite Austen, Brontë and Gaskell adaptations.

Listening: to the sounds of summer, which my youngest has been recording, both audio and visual. I thought how wise and sweet of him until we chatted about it and I realized he is recording things he expects to lose over time, at least to some extent. I had to excuse myself and go cry in the bathroom. This. This is what we are doing. This is what our dawdling is doing. To our children and their future. They are being so very brave and hopeful, so positive and innovative, because the alternative is this…abyss.

Reading: my favorite Austen, Brontë and Gaskell novels.

Thinking: The Pegasus project revelations, ugh and duh, another Evil Corp at it, and not the only one, everything that can be done will be and is being done, so crying that this is not what it’s meant for is the Zuckerberg defense, and we all know his motives are both obvious and dubious, it’s like arming yourself for personal/national/regional safety and defense, the business end of your arsenal is still meant for threats and offense, and for all your, ahem, good and noble intentions, that is what it is being used for so zip it, or fix it, or have some standards, the bar doesn’t seem all that high so it shouldn’t be all that hard for a security software company, no, that’s like calling KFC a vitamins and supplements supplier, insecurity company then, and what good is end-to-end encryption when the whole device can be hijacked on the hush-hush, come to think of it, and you know what else I’m thinking, my blog so I’ll tell you, not interested then what are you still doing here, life is short, the clock is ticking, yes, so, with all your possible and probable resources, all your data and know-how, all that you could be doing, this is the scope of your ambition, this is what you’d rather do above all else, enable oppression, drive division, for profit, o-kay, but with everything going on in the world, all the problems waiting to be solved, this is your contribution, o-kay, okay okay okay, just wondering, always wondering, about everything, one of my favorite pastimes, truly, just endlessly curious, but, ew, eternal shame on you, if I were a vindictive person I’d wish long covid upon the whole lot of you at it, or maybe a visit from some other virus, something you only dreamt of but couldn’t quite make happen, you know, because this is absolute we-sure-are-being-humongous-dicks-but-do-we-give-a-flying-fuck-hell-no-show-us-the-money assholery, but since I'm not, what I wish is for some form of common agreement that this has gone too far for far too long and has to stop.

Feeling: This calls for more Austen, Brontë and Gaskell.

Smultronställe 🍓

Temperature: a sunny cloudy sunny then cloudy 29.5/85 degrees.

Drinking: is not a good idea in this heat, sweetie darlings, alcohol is a diuretic.

Watching: Black Monday. The cast and the writing, the costumes, hair and makeup...two thumbs way up.

Listening: to plans being made, we’re leaving the city for a bit.

Reading: God Equation: The Quest for a Theory of Everything by Michio Kaku.

Writing: birthday invitations now that it’s okay to gather outside, and we have two birthdays to celebrate this month, including mine. Yes, you’re invited. Bring bubbly! Yes, I know what I just said about alcohol hydrating you. I’ll provide the water, snacks and cake. Chocolate? Strawberry? Mango, lime, some other fruit? RSVP ASAP!

Thinking: The heat, the humidity, the droughts, the rains, the fires, the extremes the flora and fauna, our bodies, homes, infrastructure can’t and should not be forced to adapt to…damnation, dearest denizens! Can we sue the fossil fuel industry for criminal intent of the reckless kind? They knew. And decided not only not to care but actively obfuscate the hell out of it.

Feeling: Pride Month is done but the work is not so let’s keep banging that drum and supporting our fellow humans in their fight for autonomy because equal rights are human rights and WTF Poland and Hungary (et al. mind you) no seriously WTF how dare you marginalize the marginalized even further and conflate queer with pedophilia NO SERIOUSLY self-determination look it up your policies are damaging and your attitude an insult and your values so dated and so regressive Europe gasps in shame and no child no youth no adult should be afraid of being and showing their true self as we only get to ride this roller coaster once and how dare you squeeze yourself into someone else’s car and spoil the fun of living and strip others of the right to live with dignity no se-ri-ous-ly how dare you how could you ever think it's about turning someone into someone they are not it is and has always been about allowing every single soul to be who they are because we are who we are and love is love and love is the higher law.