Dita Parker

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Everything counts

Look into my eyes. Olive green or olive brown? Olive green or olive brown? Look closer, deeper, deep into my eyes. That's it.

Let yourself relax. Lose yourself in the insurmountable urge to skip the trip to the coffee shop/bookstore/grocer's and donate what you would have spent to the response to the floods in Pakistan. The greatest humanitarian crisis in recent history, remember?

Not again, you groan then mumble something about compassion fatigue and the economy, and start to look away. Don't. Do. Not. Keep looking, look into my eyes. It's okay. Help is at hand. Relief is only a few clicks away, whether you are in the States, the UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, or anywhere else for that matter.

You will soon feel the helplessness easing, the heaviness lifting. You have done what you can. That's enough. That is plenty.

As you were. Or as you wish things would be.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


We switched master bedrooms, moved from one end of the house to the other. Cleaning up closets I found a novelty box filled with things that hadn't seen the light of day since moving in.

Some souvenirs you ought to keep, baby even. Mementos that take you back with one look or touch, olfactory or auditory triggers to experiences and feelings you were sure cannot be duplicated but there they are, for a moment within your grasp.

I found my set of jacks. They got buried and forgotten because the kids were too young for them the last time the set was out and about. The wee ones are the perfect age now and, best of all, they had never heard of or seen such a thing. I got the pleasure of teaching them a game that required no electricity or even batteries, of sneaking stories from my childhood into the game, and the pleasure of being launched back into those moments.

Some things you should let go, but it's sometimes hard to tell the healthy reminders from the hurtful ones, the shadows that won't let go from the ones you're dragging along yourself. I found such an item with those jacks, a reminder of traits long since tamed, of a woman I never wanted to be again.

This time the item looked like what it had been all along: a self-inflicted punishment. I had left her behind but I had kept a keepsake and of course somewhere deep down there's a layer that is all her, all hers. But I didn't need a token, I had internalized the lesson.

I put the jacks away for another day. I put the item away for good.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Part joy and part guerrilla warfare

That's how Ed Asner described raising kids. Well said, Ed. To see who's winning, who's educating who, and how it relates to the craft of writing, come visit with the Nine Naughty Novelists today. 

Yours truly madly deeply has infiltrated their ranks with a guest blog post, so come on over, comment, commiserate or congratulate yourself on the decision to have DINK or SINK tattooed where you can always see it lest that ticking noise starts bothering you and you need to be reminded of your goal in life. 

I wouldn't trade my babies for the world but I would take back some reactions, or rather overreactions, if I could. I guess some things you have to learn the hard way, and learning to live without regrets...self-discipline...living in the moment...these are only some of the things my children challenge me to aspire to.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Counting crows

Run! Run for your lives, it's Friday 13th!! Just make sure you don't step on any cracks or run under a ladder, especially if there's a black cat in the vicinity, or pass anyone running for dear life, at least not on the stairs, on your way to the safe haven that is your home, where most accidents happen, by the way, making sure you leave your umbrella outside to dry, or, come to think of it, don't touch it all day, a change into dry clothing will have to do, kick off your shoes taking care they don't land on your bed or the table or anywhere else for that matter, so why not leave them outside with that cursed, cursed! umbrella, feed the parakeet or better yet throw it out just to be on the safe side, I mean, birds in the house and all that, you're really asking for it, aren't you, settle for a nice quiet evening at home, maybe invite some friends over as long as it's not a party of thirteen, and don't bother changing your bed, stupendously stupid idea, and do not even dream of going away to get away, not gonna work, I tells ya, steer clear of mirrors and salt shakers but keep one handy anyway, and you'll be all set.

And secondly, as Fidel Castro used to say two hours into a speech, carefree Friday, sweetie daaarlings! 

And thirdly, Dita hollers one foot out the door, will be right back, enjoy your weekend say listening to the Kama Sutra, just you, your mate and your Johnson (or, The Most Homoerotic Vintage Ads of All Time).

Monday, August 9, 2010

Hi and bye

Sorry, I'm not in. I'm off to Tallinn, Estonia.

Will be back on Wednesday, unless I get lost in the smog on my way to the ferry port. Russia is on fire and the smoke respects or observes no borders. How very rude and inconsiderate of it. 

Enjoy your brand new week, wherever you are.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Now I've done it

Joined Facebook in Dita's shoes, that is. I hope they'll be kind to the poor lass. Poor lass, my ass. Kick-ass lass. In the most tender, loving and caring way imaginable, of course. As long as there's no hating. No kidding. Okay?
Don't let the occasional growl and scowl act fool you, I'd get along with an ogre and could probably strike a conversation with a rock, so if you know a nice ogre or an articulate rock, tell them to friend me ASAP. 

You'll find me listed under the "Looking for: The kindness of strangers" folk. Oh, right, there's no such category. Whyever not? And why is whyever not an actual word? And what happened at the end of Inception? The totem fell over, didn't it? Didn't it? Arghh!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Spice up your life

To celebrate 10 years of refusing to behave, Ellora's Cave asked readers how EC books have improved their sex lives. The entries were so imaginative and fun, The Readers' Choice portion of the write-in contest will take seven weeks to settle.

The first round is on at Sex Talk for Wicked Women, with six more batches to come. The winner of each round wins a free eBook of her choice and becomes a semifinalist with the chance to win a netbook computer.

Romantica authors' working hours are as long and lonely as any other writers', so it's a rarer pleasure than you might believe to hear and learn that not only do readers find erotic romance fun and entertaining, it can be a sex lifesaver.

I'm happy to hear and proud to relate that these field reports and empirical findings corroborate and extend the scientifically proven health benefits of sex. Not a bad by-product of another day at the office. Not bad at all.