Dress in white

 You are cordially invited to celebrate a socially distanced

Réveillon

On Thursday, December 31st, 2020

Wherever you are

We ask all participants to kindly refrain from excessive hand-wringing, as the tragic events defining this year still grieve many among us greatly

 

Come equipped with a bay leaf as your four-leaf clover

Carefully choose the right color underwear according to your heart’s desire*

Prepared to jump through seven waves at midnight (one wish/wave), or

Start your year on the right foot, stepping down from an elevated surface

All in the name of Good Luck and a Happy New Year

 

If you have trouble with your inner bouncer, serenade them

(The proprietor of this blog apologizes in advance to every hardworking doorman on the planet)

 

*red for passion, pink for love, orange for success, yellow for prosperity, green for health, purple for motivation, blue for harmony, white for peace

Crimson and clover

 ‘Tis the season, sweetie darlings, and I for one can’t wait for some time off. I’m trying very hard to practice gratitude and not focus so much on what and who I’m missing, as in all the people I will not see in person, hug and kiss and just hold, for a very long time. Perhaps you know the feeling?

Whatever and however you celebrate this time of year, I hope you find comfort, joy and continuity in your holiday customs. In a year marked by loss, be it loss of life, livelihood, security or connection, we strive to find silver linings, deeper meanings, the promise it will be alright, when the only certainty is that life will go on but will probably look different from what we are used to. And that’s not always a bad thing. Many have stopped or have been forced to stop to think about how they live and what they fill their days with. Why am I doing what I’m doing? Do I need this is in my life? What does it offer me in terms of fulfillment and meaning? Some have realized that they do have options when they were certain there were none. New vistas have opened, new ways of doing things have presented themselves, new skills and strengths have bubbled up.

Some have struggled and suffered beyond measure and reason. If you know such a person, perhaps your first instinct was to try to make it better any way you could think of, with cheerful words and good deeds, anything to take the pain away. If you are such a person, perhaps you were not amused or consoled but irritated that your friend or loved one seemed to skate over your pain when there is nothing anyone can do except listen. Or if you don’t feel like talking, could they just be there for you, just stay close, simply let you know that they are available if you need them?

As Sia sings, to be human is to love. Give of yourself, but don’t let yourself be used by those who take and take greedily and shamelessly. Love yourself; you will only pass through this world once and your life and your experiences are unique. You matter. Your voice matters and your choices matter. Even in times of grief and uncertainty, please remember that no feeling or circumstance is final. There are people out there who are trying to help, people who care. You may not know that they do, you may not believe they do, they may be perfect strangers to you, but they wish you well. I wish you well, sweetie darling. I wish you peace, great snacks and your favorite beverages this holiday season, and much, much love I hope you’ll pay forward. 

💋 A southern girl in the north

This X-mas, meet with six people without a problem

OMG who knows six people without problems?!

Christmais ou menos

Temperature: 0/32 degrees. November was the warmest on record up here.

Eating: Testing some new Christmas baking.

Drinking: Still working through this year’s glögg offerings. Well, not right this very minute. Later tonight. Join me for a warm and Christmasy drink?

Watching: Coisa Mais Linda. This is all I have for now; plus photos, video calls, memories. 😭

Listening: to Brazilian music. Seriously, the sun sets at three in the afternoon. You really need to work at staying awake. Music and dancing helps. Lifts the spirits. And your butt.

Reading: What we talk about when we talk about razing rainforests, what we lose when we do it: Rainforest by Swiss nature photographer Thomas Marent.

Writing: I am. Whenever I can. And it’s wonderful and torturous at the same time. It doesn’t have anywhere to go because I can’t stomach Amazon and that’s becoming the only game in town, isn’t it, and that’s not healthy; remember Buy n Large in Wall-E? Just saying. But I need this. It doesn’t go away. I don’t think it will ever go away, the need to write. I take a break, determined to focus on other things, and get boatloads of reading and studying and work and living and loving done, but it’s always there, that need. Nipping at your heels, tugging at your sleeve, whispering in your ear. You know you want to. You want to write. So write.

Thinking: about all of you who left a comment, a comment Google never notified me about, simply tossed. Well, I found you. Some were obvious spam, others, though, I don’t know. If you feel jilted, I am so sorry! If there is something you wish to communicate, like screw you for never getting back to me, please do so through Gmail, local-part ms.ditaparker.

Feeling: We really, really need to stop putting our lives in the hands of pigeons playing chess. Yes, a chess-playing pigeon, pombo enxadrista, a Portuguese simile that applies to some of the leaders misleading today’s world. They don’t care about the rules, they make a mess without any intention of cleaning up after themselves, and when challenged swiftly take off cooing “I win, I win, I win.”

They said we wouldn't last

Dear Doubters,

Is twenty years of marriage enough to convince you of our staying power? 🤨

Yes, we were young, but we knew what we were doing. So here we are, twenty years later, to our infinite joy and your lasting amazement. I think this calls for a toast! Won't you join us? 🥂

The mysterious Styles affair

Temperature: a drizzly 7.5/45.5 degrees.

Eating: almonds and raisins with some…

Drinking: …glögg!

Watching: Some documentaries I’d like to recommend and hope you have access to: Why Do We Dance?, Whose Streets?, A Word After a Word After a Word Is Power, and Bleed Out.

Listening: Don’t tell anyone but I’m already listening to some Christmas tunes.

Reading: Kleptopia: How Dirty Money Is Conquering the World by Tom Burgis. Dearest denizens, you should read this book.

Writing: Christmas letters overseas. I still enjoy writing by hand. Gives you time to think about what to say and presses you to write only what is pertinent.

Thinking: Watching my son getting dressed for a date and being really meticulous about it brought back the Harry Styles on the cover of Vogue business. And the backlash, which in most evoked a big fat what-so-what-calm-the-hell-down. This is a threat to men and masculinity, to family values and children, some opined. How? Explain to me how a man in a dress is a threat. How is tulle, or the color pink or old rose, wearing makeup or heels, going all out peacock or just putting on some mascara a threat? Let’s step back in time and put this into perspective and think Highlanders or Baroque and Rococo; or the more recent history of pop and rock with no end of examples of men in heavy makeup, ruffles and attention-grabbing colors. What is so wrong with expressing yourself, your personality and identity through your choice of clothes and accessories? What makes some so uncomfortable with the individual choices of others? I ask again: where is the threat? There is more than a little homophobia, transphobia and misogyny in these alarmed worldviews, I think. A sense of real men, manly men (whatever the hell that means, and if Putin, Bolso, Trump and the likes are your touchstones then you need to rethink your preferences or at the very least stop trying to hang them on the rest of us) being under attack. By light fabrics and lipstick? Pastels and joie de vivre? Displaying an ability to be all you want to be, not some limited, superimposed, conventional version of manhood? Because those limits have reached a limit, that superimposed role hurts men, and punishing those who defy convention continues but leads nowhere. Climate crisis is a threat. Harry Styles is not. If you feel threatened by Harry Styles, or by anyone who isn’t a real actual threat to your health, safety and life, then that is your problem, not theirs; leave them alone. And maybe talk to someone about your insecurities? People usually only want to help. If you let them.

Feeling: thankful. The extended family is healthy, either retired or still employed, and hanging on to the hope that we will meet again soon and give one another the longest hug in the history of embraces and big giant smooches that border on drool. If that isn’t something to look forward to then what’s the matter with you? The Grinch pinch your spirit? Go pinch it back!

(What’s So Funny ’Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding

Temperature: November is already projected to be the warmest on record up here. Our neighbors, who own a summer cottage by one of the largest lakes with fish aplenty, said the dwindling catch is a fact. Some of the fish can’t and will not cope with the warming waters and loss of ice; they need cooler temps during the winter and have nowhere to go but tits up.

Eating: veggie stir-fry

Drinking: Would day drinking be okay, under the circumstances? This election is nerve-racking.

Watching: It's the 5th of November.

Every year? Seriously? Every year. Religiously. Traditions are important, beautiful and meaningful. Well, most are. Not all.

Listening: to my youngest practice something on his ukulele. You’d have to be heartless not to warm up to that, it’s simply one of the jolliest instruments, the humble ukulele.

Reading: The Good Ancestor by Roman Krznaric and The Greatest Knight by Elizabeth Chadwick. (After The Irish Princess, I couldn’t resist.)

Writing: Let’s play with a classic:

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

doused in a
blue wave

aside a green
new day


Thinking: Even if Biden wins, we’ll have to wait until December 14 and the electors’ formal vote. Even if Biden does win, Trump will have until January to protest a fair, orderly and peaceful election. And even if Biden is inaugurated on January 20, it will take more than four years to bridge the great American divide.

Feeling: Why can’t we all just get along?