Crimson and clover

 ‘Tis the season, sweetie darlings, and I for one can’t wait for some time off. I’m trying very hard to practice gratitude and not focus so much on what and who I’m missing, as in all the people I will not see in person, hug and kiss and just hold, for a very long time. Perhaps you know the feeling?

Whatever and however you celebrate this time of year, I hope you find comfort, joy and continuity in your holiday customs. In a year marked by loss, be it loss of life, livelihood, security or connection, we strive to find silver linings, deeper meanings, the promise it will be alright, when the only certainty is that life will go on but will probably look different from what we are used to. And that’s not always a bad thing. Many have stopped or have been forced to stop to think about how they live and what they fill their days with. Why am I doing what I’m doing? Do I need this is in my life? What does it offer me in terms of fulfillment and meaning? Some have realized that they do have options when they were certain there were none. New vistas have opened, new ways of doing things have presented themselves, new skills and strengths have bubbled up.

Some have struggled and suffered beyond measure and reason. If you know such a person, perhaps your first instinct was to try to make it better any way you could think of, with cheerful words and good deeds, anything to take the pain away. If you are such a person, perhaps you were not amused or consoled but irritated that your friend or loved one seemed to skate over your pain when there is nothing anyone can do except listen. Or if you don’t feel like talking, could they just be there for you, just stay close, simply let you know that they are available if you need them?

As Sia sings, to be human is to love. Give of yourself, but don’t let yourself be used by those who take and take greedily and shamelessly. Love yourself; you will only pass through this world once and your life and your experiences are unique. You matter. Your voice matters and your choices matter. Even in times of grief and uncertainty, please remember that no feeling or circumstance is final. There are people out there who are trying to help, people who care. You may not know that they do, you may not believe they do, they may be perfect strangers to you, but they wish you well. I wish you well, sweetie darling. I wish you peace, great snacks and your favorite beverages this holiday season, and much, much love I hope you’ll pay forward. 

💋 A southern girl in the north