Things we lost in the fire

So. By now you're probably well aware of recent events re: EC, a situation that has gone from baffling to loaded to see you in court. If not, click on, there's nothing for you here, because, to quote Elton John, it's sad, so sad, it's a sad, sad situation, and it's getting more and more absurd.

Reaction/consequence recap: Countless readers have vowed to stop buying EC titles and several reviewers and/or bloggers have said they won't touch EC releases, past or present. Some authors have asked readers to stop buying their books in fear they'll never see the money and/or in hopes they'll soon be eligible for reversal of rights. Some have never had a problem with EC but are now caught in the crossfire. Many need every writing dollar, euro and pound and are horrified by the imminence of flatlining sales. Some have new releases coming out, books they started waaay before all of this started but works that will be DOA. Spectators are popping corn because if you can't laugh you'll cry but this ain't funny. Just business?

As if having to contend with pirates wasn't bad enough. Or trying to figure out Amazon, the effects of the adult filter, e-book return policy, KU and the new imprints they're rolling out. Distributor turned publisher. Now there's a hat that doesn't quite match the outfit. When you're in the business of making money for stockholders, preferably on your terms, terms that give you the winning edge, you don't do the competition any favors, you do everything in your power to hold on to those terms and that edge, for as long as you can. Knavish? Just business.

The current keeps getting stronger and many authors are tired of swimming in it, against it. Some will scramble to shore, some drown. I wouldn't be surprised if even those who've vowed to never-ever ended up self-publishing, going indie, because they feel they have nothing to lose. Many who've asked for their rights back see this as an opportunity to start afresh. A lot of talent up for grabs, except some of that talent is very wary. Live and learn. Read the small print. Twice. Third time between the lines with a lawyer. Sleep on it. Sleep some more. Then possibly say thanks for the offer, no thanks just the same. Once bitten and all that. Whom to trust?

Some say this is killing their concentration, their writing mojo. Our craft, our business, our livelihood, is writing. That's what we'd like to focus on. Not to make light of Miss Litte's plight. Like I said, this ain't funny. None of it is, to any of us. Some lose sleep. Their peace of mind. Income. Editors. Readers. Books. Traction. Faith. Some feel like crying. Like crawling under a rock and dying. Taken for a ride then thrown under the bus at the end of it. Victimized? More like collateral damage as someone put it. Powerless, like a pawn. A lot of frustration in the air but above all else, above everything else, a deep heartfelt sadness. All the hours, all the hard work put into books, the passion and dedication... What's going on? When will this be resolved and how? Whom to trust?

We have genuine concerns. We've asked fairly simple questions. If the answer is awkward or complicated, if it's a hard pill to swallow to either the publisher (any publisher/distributor/vendor/party in this joint venture of ours) or to us, whatever the solution or the answer, we'd like to have it all the same. Writing is our passion, absolutely. It's also our profession, so let's keep things professional, doing business. Truthful answers delivered in a timely and professional manner. Facts and acts to match. Thank you. That is all.

What can you do? Your money, your choice. You can always keep track of and keep in touch with your favorite authors. Listen closely to what they're saying and if you really want to help act accordingly. Many of us are hurting, trying to make sense of it all, trying to make plans, which isn't easy when you feel you don't have all the facts and you can't see the endgame, only speculate. Some just don't care anymore and are lashing out and that's the depth of their despair right there, how bad it's gotten for them. I won't judge and I can hardly blame them, they didn't start the fire. All of us will suffer the consequences of a wide variety of ever-gathering actions and reactions coming in from all sides. What a business.

What am I going to do? I'm going to take the kids to BJJ and then I'm going to work out until I taste blood. My meditation. My medication. I just took a trip to secure more work so wish me luck, although luck has nothing to do with getting the job. Being good at what you do, improving your skills i.e. your odds, that's what it's all about. Blood, sweat and tears? Like nobody's business.

P.S. Things I've learned working with/for people around the world:

Have a problem? Fix it.
Made a mistake? Admit it.
Spoke too hastily, too harshly? Apologize.
Never toy with people's trust. Never play with their money.
Respect and goodwill once lost is often lost forever.
Cause and effect. In that order. Don't get confused.
For every action there's a consequence. The same applies to non-action.
Don't let temporary become permanent.
There's no stopping a setting sun. Doesn't mean it won't rise again tomorrow. 

Too cut-and-dried? That's business.

Come one, come all*

Just wanted to let you know that All Romance Ebooks is having a 50% rebate promotion for Ellora's Cave books, including mine, through December 31st. 

Go! Before it's too late!! Tell a friend!!! Surprise a friend!!!! Send more exclamation marks, I have now officially used up this year's allowance.

*Pun totally intended. The girl can't help it. 

Lucky 13

Happy Monday, dearest denizens! Did you have a good weekend? Hubby and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary and reminisced about that summery winter/wintry summer day in December 2000. The dress was crimson, the flowers were white and the priest had forgotten his glasses. Lucky for us, he knew my husband and he knew our story and he gave a moving speech about the power of love and perseverance. 

I remember my father asking me before the ceremony how could I be so calm. I told him I had no reason to be nervous. I had never been so sure about anything in my life. Twelve years on, I still feel the same. Lucky for me, so does Hubby. *sigh* Sorry to go all mushy on you, but February or Valentine's is nothing compared to December. This is the most romantic time of the year for me and always will be.

To celebrate it to the fullest extent of holiday folly, I held a contest last year, remember? No? Never mind, that was then and this is now. So. I'm at 69 Shades with the Lucky 13 XXX-mas giveaway, open to every smutty adult on the planet! Come toss your name in the mojo bag by December 22 and a $13 Ellora's Cave gift card could be yours!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some writing to do.

Have I got news for you

And as soon as everything is signed, sealed and delivered, I'll tell you more!

Guess the consonant, buy a vowel, today's word puzzle is... 

NE_  B_ _K

My belly cramps just thinking about it. Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Frickin'-Dah, sweetie darlings!

XXX-mas poll and giveaway

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... I am, I am! The sun now rises way after nine and sets at three, what snow we've gotten has melted, and it has been the rainiest December in fifty years. [Last month was the warmest November in fifty years. We've been breaking weather records almost every season. A coincidence? I think not.] Dark and desolate? Definitely. So someone send some snow to lighten and brighten things up. Pronto. Please. But not as much as last year or the year before that. There is no need to exaggerate. We'd be quite content with the golden mean. Thanks.

The last seven days in seventy words: had a lovely wedding anniversary, Christmas shopping done, cards sent, menu set, deadlines met, saw three dudes pull off every Shakespeare play in two hours, the full moon was beau-ti-ful, oldest was really sick one day and fine the next, again, (seriously, the child is übermenschlich), youngest is up all night with growth pains, again, (that child will grow up to be ten feet tall), and my niece was born!

Now...now I think it's time to wrap up this year's Frisky Fridays. I haven't done polls or giveaways here at the Den, and you've been such good sports, visited and commented, so what do you say, dearest denizens, how about we send off 2011 with a bang and a whimper and do both?! They're not interlinked. You don't have to vote to enter. You can vote and skip the contest. Naughty or nice, every adult on the planet is eligible.

You'll find the simple XXX-mas poll question at the top of the right-hand column. If everyone's happy, my work here is done. If not, maybe some more Frisky Fridays are in order in 2012. Want an Ellora's Cave Romantica Publishing $20 gift card too/instead? Let me know by leaving a working email addy (working!, not stuffed to capacity, better luck next time) in comments, or by dropping me a line at ms[dot]ditaparker[at]gmail[dot]com (subject line: XXX-mas giveaway), and on January first, I'll let random.org decide and off shopping you go!

Okay! I think that's all for now. Spread the word. That gift card, if you hit the Vault, buys you up to twenty (20!) ebooks. Or would you prefer a Cavemen 2012 Calendar and some recent releases? You decide, I provide.

Ah, it is better to give than to receive. Which reminds me... But that's none of your business, sweetie darlings. Now shoo, go make someone happy, and yourself in the process. Oh, and if you know a really good shaman, ask for snow!!!

Reality killed the video star

So. MTV is thirty years old. I don't recall the momentous day it launched, but I do remember MTV landing upon European shores six years later on that/this very same date, August 1. No, I don't actually recall it being the first of August, only the occasion itself. What I do remember is Sting wailing "I want my MTV" as the first song blasted, Dire Straits' Money for Nothing, and how many clothes female artists wore back then.

So what the hell happened? Last time I checked, MTV was behaving like your average thirty-year-old: aging most ungracefully by desperately hanging on to their teens and hopelessly trying to prove they're still hip and happening. I did what your average sensible thirty something does and switched to VH1 Europe, an actual music channel.

What else is old? New. What else is new? Cave Chaos, sweetie darlings, to be launched on this most memorable of dates! Yes, in an hour or so, the weekly, hour-long, live talk radio show featuring several smexy segments airs for the very first time. Your anchors: EC's own Jaid Black and Lisa Marie Gray. The topics: if it relates to female sexuality, is strictly taboo, irreverent and politically incorrect, it's bound to come up at some point.

For your weekly dose of behind-the-scenes and between-the-sheets action, visit New Dissident Radio every Monday from 4 to 5 pm EST. Happy August, dearest denizens!

Or die trying

Weighed, measured and found wanting. Romantica roadkill. Not coming to Ellora's Cave. (Must you be so theatrical, you ask? Would I be me if I weren't, I ask? And what are we talking about here, innocent bystanders ask?) The story I was asked to revise and resubmit. Not happening.

I'm so sorry, dearest denizens. Hurts like a mother bitch. Won't pretend it doesn't. Hindsight being what it is, maybe I should have given up at some point along the way. Well, I didn't. At least I tried. And you know what? I finished the book. I finished the damn book twice. How about that?

The premise was the hook, and it ended up being my downfall. It felt like a good idea (now don't they always...). Tricky but doable. And then I couldn't pull it off, not this time around. I took some calculated risks with the ms. I lost. On each and every account. My bad. I'll have to live with that. And I'll be sure to remember that next time I have a bright idea.

The comments I've gotten from friends who don't write have been along the lines of deep condolences. I put in all those hours and came out the other end of the process with nothing to show for it. They feel sorry for me, I can feel it. They can't bring themselves to say it and frankly, I don't want to hear it. It is what it is. I'll live, believe me. Silver lining: I've found new ways of how not to write Romantica. That knowledge is golden.

I'm young, life is long, this too shall pass. Even if that doesn't ring true, that's what I need to believe right now. Besides, it's too hot for me to start getting cold feet, and too beautiful out there to think ugly thoughts, and Saturday is just around the corner, and come Saturday...Carnaval! Samba!! On the streets of Helsinki!!! Yes, there will be half-naked ladies. Okay, more like two-thirds naked. No, samba is not an erotic dance. And no, I most definitely won't be posting pics, you'd just stare at my...shoes.

On Monday, it's back to the monster plan. Master plan. It's back to the master plan. I'm thinking something simple. Nothing too ambitious, nothing too contrived. Yeah, will definitely give it a try after I type The End at the end of my latest bright idea. (Yeah, right.) But, as Samuel Beckett put it: "Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order." See you around, sweetie darlings. Dance on.

So you're telling me there's a chance

So. Got an answer for that submission of mine with Ellora's Cave. Revise and resubmit, it said. If you can. If you dare. No, that's not what it said but that's how it feels on first reading, like you've failed, royally. You pathetic excuse for a wannabe writer. Fluke. One-hit wonder. Not even much of a success, that first attempt, now was it, come to think of it, discounting the pirates?

Come to think of it, what are the odds? If you don't know me by now, here's the deal: I picked up writing after a long break and got an offer for the first erotic romance I ever submitted. Had to revise. Did. Got published. See the lovely gent to your right. So, been there, done that. Wrote something different this time around but will be going through the same grinder again. No promises, no guarantees, only the chance to prove I can do it. One chance and one chance only.

Can't remember who said and can't be bothered to Google that the world doesn't need another writer, or another story. Well, I think this writer needs this story. I need my work cut out for me, something so daunting I dare not lose courage, something dangled just within my reach, and the notion that maybe I'm not much of a writer after all, aren't I going to prove them any different?

This couldn't have come at a worse and it couldn't have come at a better time. She would haunt me for all eternity if I lost heart now, even if I feel it's already gone MIA. He wouldn't approve of the moping or the mourning, not for a second. He would ask, "Why the long face? Someone die?" I would nod. "Was it you?" I'd shake my head, he'd shake his and ask, "So why the long face?" He would tell me life goes on and I don't have to forget, I'd better not forget, only keep being kind, curious. Unafraid.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bury my grandfather. Don't tell my editor. I need her to believe I can do this. I need her to believe I believe I can do this, and I do. So no long faces, no excuses, no complaints. Cheer me on, wish me well, and maybe somewhere in the not so distant future we'll be talking star-crossed lovers.

Be good. Be well. Be happy. With one hundred percent certainty, we're all gonna die. Do you know what the odds of being born are?

Hammer to fall

How are you, sweetie darlings? Did les Américains among you join the rally to restore sanity, i.e. voted wisely? Did you enjoy the rally to restore fear, a.k.a. Halloween? And have you stopped by Ellora's Cave lately? Whyever not? And why is whyever still not a word?

Lots of exciting things going on at the webstore of my alma mater of Romantica, most notably...the ePub format! The who in the what now? Click here to find out. The November BOGO selection is out, and author Tawny Taylor's writing contest is on, no entry fee or purchase required.  

Still two submission rounds to go. That means two chances left to enter and win a critique of your full manuscript/partial ms/first chapter of said ms by EC editor Grace Bradley. Additional prize: Randomly drawn entry will receive a critique by an EC author. Two more of those up for grabs as well, so if you're sitting on some erotic romance, get up, dust it off, polish if need be and send it off.

For details on what/how/where/when, visit Tawny's. You know you want to. I know you're thinking about it. Think no more. Go. Do it. Do or die.

In other news, I've resubmitted the story that took a detour when my EC editor stepped down. It's like waiting for Godot, I tells ya. Okay, not exactly, I'll get an answer eventually, but in the meantime, you bet I check my inbox seven hundred times a day I'm busy with business and pleasure alike. Anything "to hold the terrible silence at bay" while I wait for the verdict. In my smarty pants. No, seriously, put that play in your bucket list if you haven't seen it.

Misery loves company, so get busy with that ms of yours and join me in the waiting game. And bring Mavala Stop. I'll provide the screaming meemies.

Blue Monday

Bummer way to start the week but c'est la vie, my Ellora's Cave editor announced she's stepping down. I'm really sorry to see her go, we were just getting started and she was the perfect coolheaded counterpart to my, well, hmm, idiosyncrasies. All I could say was thank you and be well when all I wanted was to grovel and plead please don't go.

I sent out a story some three weeks ago and I guess I'll have to send it out and start the process all over again once I get word whom to send it to next. Here's hoping she's half as nice as my ex. 

I'll try to keep the bread and circuses going until I know more. On Wednesday, I'm visiting with Delilah Devlin and talking about... No, wait. Come by and find out and take part in a game I want to play, and everyone's eligible to enter, I promise, as long as you come as you are. Can't say more, won't, shutting up now lest I do.

I feel better already. Thanks for listening. Hope to see you over at Delilah's then. Don't forget! Wednesday!! Jot it down!!!

Spice up your life

To celebrate 10 years of refusing to behave, Ellora's Cave asked readers how EC books have improved their sex lives. The entries were so imaginative and fun, The Readers' Choice portion of the write-in contest will take seven weeks to settle.

The first round is on at Sex Talk for Wicked Women, with six more batches to come. The winner of each round wins a free eBook of her choice and becomes a semifinalist with the chance to win a netbook computer.

Romantica authors' working hours are as long and lonely as any other writers', so it's a rarer pleasure than you might believe to hear and learn that not only do readers find erotic romance fun and entertaining, it can be a sex lifesaver.

I'm happy to hear and proud to relate that these field reports and empirical findings corroborate and extend the scientifically proven health benefits of sex. Not a bad by-product of another day at the office. Not bad at all.

Nude and improved

Disneyland, or World, he couldn't decide, so maybe it's all over the place, ooh, that would mean Disneyland Paris, too, just around the corner, is not just for kids anymore, if it ever was. 

To ramp and vamp it up, there's a new adult ride, courtesy of Ellora's Cave, my alma mater of erotica, as seen in The Huffington Post.

Ellora's Cave Day at Love Romances Cafe

Sorry, I'm not in. I'm on my way to Love Romances Cafe to see if anyone's awake yet stateside.

Join the party to win prizes, read excerpts, pick the brains of Ellora's Cave authors, or listen in to

Kaily Hart 

Dalton Diaz

Tina Donahue

Stephanie Mowery

Tracy Cooper-Posey

Emma Petersen

Katherine Kingston

Shayla Kersten

Cris Anson

Lise Fuller

Ari Thatcher

Michelle Polaris 

Cindy Spencer-Pape 

Nina Pierce

and that Parker girl, Dita I think her name was, who'll be in good company to see how it's done.

Today, all day, at Love Romances Cafe.

[Program subject to change. Parker girl subject to do a disappearing act and go on mommy mode for an unforeseeable period of time. Subject subject to forget shedding mommy mode and talking funny upon return to the chat OR subject to forget shedding author mode and making no sense whatsoever upon return to Real Life. Either way, it ought to be entertaining.]

What kind of love are you on?

I noticed this is my one hundredth post on Dita's Den. I'm celebrating it with news of rejection. The quickie I wrote to get away from my Brothers Grim was not an Ellora's Cave Quickie, as my editor pointed out, and you bet I'm kicking my own butt right about now.

Lesson one: Don't assume anything. Wrote a book that got published? Congratulations! Think everything else you do from then on is golden and greeted with open arms? Wake up. Instead:

Lesson two: Do your homework. If there are house rules, abide by them. Learn them by heart. They are the guiding light, they exist to make your life easier, your writing super focused.

Lesson three: It's not them, it's you, or in this instance, me. It really is and there's nothing else to it. Decided not to follow that guiding light but do your own thing instead? Go back to lesson one and do not assume anything.

After Alex Rising got reviewed by Night Owl Romance, I wrote them a thank you mail with a few notes on the book and my writing. I wish I could post the answer I got. I remember saying I doubted I'd ever write a simple romp. I also remember saying "but never say never."

Hell froze over and I ended up writing that simple romp. Just not simple enough, intense enough, tight enough for EC, and that is no one else's fault but mine. It got me thinking. If it wasn't a simple romp I was comfortable writing, what the hell was I doing trying to write one? (Except assuming it was golden even when I hadn't done my homework properly.) What was I out to write Romantica wise anyway?

I'm still mulling over that but initial reports indicate it can't be just sex, all sex and nothing but with plot enough to hold the edges together. I'm not dissing anyone writing strictly sex driven stories or readers who enjoy them, absolutely not. These are insanely hard to write because of that tight format and focus and I just failed royally at it. Because I wanted there to be more to it. Because the premise was fun and I had fun with it, my way, not the EC way.

It's not an Ellora's Cave Quickie but it just might be a short for some other publisher. We'll see. And I need to have a serious discussion with myself about what kind of love am I on, Romantica wise; spell it out, clear, crystal. High time, wouldn't you say? It would make my writing life that much easier, to say nothing of targeting those queries and submissions. Maybe I wouldn't feel like such an idiot after being rejected, either.

The darling buds of mayo

Fresh out of something to read? I know, I know; I'm writing as fast as I can. Read in any other language? Spanish? Sorry, I don't write in Spanish, but no, don't go, help is on the way!

Not only is it Get Caught Reading Month, it's Latino Books Month, so there is no need to panic, you can go Hispanic with this selection, the Recommended Reading List for 2010.

Want to have some fun brushing up on your Spanish and expanding your vocabulary? Ellora's Cave has a selection of erotica en Español. Muy caliente...

Hooray for May!

Spring fling

Doing anything interesting this Sunday? Great! Cancel, right now, and come chat with and spy on Ellora's Cave authors in action on the Yahoo EC Readers loop [to reserve your seat, if you don't already have one, click here] starting at 12:00 EST and going until we're done.

Lise Fuller will be your host for the afternoon. Mari Carr, Lynne Connolly, Aileen Fish, Desiree Holt, Kelly Jamieson, and Nina Pierce will be there. 

Come meet Elle Amour, Paige Tyler, Nara Malone, Michelle Polaris, Paisley Smith, Ari Thatcher, and that Parker girl, Dita I think her name was. 

[Program subject to change. If I forgot someone, bash me when I get there around 1:00.]

We have hot excerpts and cool prizes lined up, book talk, girl talk, and a military man talking heroes and everything else we can squeeze and tease out of him. You do not want to miss that.

Tomorrow. Jot it down!

Can I get a witness

Cute and well-endowed in the cerebral department, what more could a woman want? Today, I have mad love for two men. One might find it odd since we don't know each other (I'm almost quite normal, promise, Mr. Brandhorst!), the other knows it very well but does not mind being reminded.

We have a "I heart Tim Brandhorst" thing going among Ellora's Cave authors this week for his article in DBW. He not only managed to see Raelene Gorlinsky and Jaid Black for the brilliant and business savvy women they are, but to take a dispassionate approach to the merger of passion and hard work at work throughout Ellora's Cave from authors to back office to end product.

Why wouldn't we be happy to hear what he had to say when it's all true? Not that I have a comparison as far as erotica publishers go, but I have no complaints or regrets either, far from it, EC and yours truly madly deeply have gotten along swimmingly!

Oi, J! If you're spying on the Missus on this important date, I didn't forget, only saved the best for last. I know what you're thinking and what you'll ask, so: No, we're not that old, they're only numbers, and yes, I would love to double the years. You will always be my dream come true.

I do owe one more man another set of thanks, though. Hadn't it been for a party he threw, Hubby and I never would have met. So thank you, dearest B, and happy birthday.

Free eBooks!

Now that I have your attention, I'm diverting it to my alma mater of erotica for details, but here's the catchphrase and the catch: BOGO. To give as good as you get, buy an eBook at 10 percent discount from the monthly selection and a free copy of that book will be sent to a friend, along with a personalized greeting card from you. 

2010 marks the tenth anniversary of Ellora's Cave and there's more than a day or two of wicked fun in store, ladies and gents, it's an entire year of devilishly delectable deeds done in deets, and the sales and contests to go with it. 

Those of you for whom romance without sex is like alcohol-free wine, on the light side if not utterly pointless/unconvincing/deficient/all of the above, should accept no substitute, especially this year. As for those of you still on the fence... It really is greener on this side, red-hot actually, so don't fight us. Join us for the joyride!