Halloween dress down

Looking to dress up this Halloween, thinking about something naughty? This is what the ladies have to choose from, just to flash a few: 

 

 

 

 

If you insist on going out half-naked in this weather, you can't go wrong with these items, now available at Netpinky.

And for the gents (and decidedly not available at Netpinky):

Hmm. There's naughty and then there's naughty and there's something wrong with this picture. I think I'll keep my clothes on until I can figure out what it is. Until then, have a fun Halloween and a fantastic week, sweetie darlings!

Assume the asana*

Technically, it's still Friday, so how about we strike a pose, dearest denizens, and go at it from every angle with another Frisky Friday! Ready? Assume the position.

What do you say to a guy who tells you that monogamy is beyond him, it's like eating the same meal every single day? A man who brags about the high frequency and amount of his conquests (proof he is a Great Lover, as if quantity has anything to do with quality) and that his married friends are missing out? All I could think of was he had to be really bad in bed. Of course I didn't say that to his face, but I did say something to the effect that obviously he didn't know how to cook.

You don't need a hundred cooks, you only need a hundred recipes, tried and true, for a versatile, satisfying diet. That applies to the bedroom as well as the kitchen, Casanova. But I know it's easy to fall into a rut, rotate the same few recipes because you can do it with your eyes closed/the lights out, you're in a hurry, you don't have the time or the inclination to start learning new ones.

If they're your favorite could-eat-this-and-nothing-else-for-the-rest-of-my-days recipes, go for it. Enjoy! But if you feel like trying out something new and different every once in a while but are not quite sure how, that's where cookbooks and sex manuals alike come in handy. The problem: we are spoiled for choice. So where do you go for sound but sexy advice? Which sexpert do you listen to with everything from the classics such as the Kama Sutra to specifics like The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus/Fellatio and The Best Illustrated and Most Innovative Step-By-Step Guide for a Pleasurable Path to Anal Sex to choose from? Where do you start?

My suggestion: start with the classics and progress to the specifics if and when you feel like it. There's a good reason the Kama Sutra ("the science of pleasure") is a classic. It's known as a sex manual, but it's more than a how-to handbook. Only a small part of its text is devoted to technique, the rest is erotic wisdom. It does give practical instructions on how to use different sexual positions to lend variety to lovemaking, but it's also about the senses and intimacy and sensuality, it deals with foreplay and seduction, and above all mutual pleasure, something lost on our loverboy from the beginning of the post, focused on satisfying his own needs as he was.

The text may be 2,000 years old but it's strikingly modern in it's treatment of and approach to the sexes, so don't write if off as so last millennium and counting. Times may have changed but the human body has not and for example the sections on genital size are very helpful if he's too large/small for you, or if she's too small/wide. (The Kama Sutra separates men into three types according to the size of their penis and women into three categories depending on the depth of their vagina.) The bad news: some unions are more satisfying than others. The good news: there are highly pleasurable ways to work around this. The Kama Sutra recommends positions for every possible union, something anyone who's ever suffered discomfort during sex can appreciate.

Depth and angle can make all the difference if you or your partner have any sort of physical limitation, say a disability or you're pregnant. If sex causes pain or discomfort of any kind, for any reason, it tends to limit the repertoire of sex positions and it forces you to get creative when having sex. Again, a manual can point you in the right direction when you search for what yields the most pleasure and the best results.

The Kama Sutra has seen many rebirths and been given countless interpretations. You're pressed to find a sex guide not inspired or influenced by it. Fast forward to modern times and Western shores...The Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking, (are you paying attention, Mr. Lothario? gourmet guide), which you may or may not have accidentally on purpose taken down from your parents' shelves, is the modern equivalent to which many if not all subsequent volumes on the subject owe a debt.
 
If you're waiting for a list, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I don't have one. I meant to compile one, even started one, then realized most positions in today's manuals are variations on the basics covered in the classics, so unless you're in the market for Coitus for Contortionists (yeah, it's all fun and games until someone pulls a muscle) you're not likely to find anything revolutionary. Still, in a rut, they can be a sex life saver. You can feast on them, make a multi-course meal out of them, or have a light snack. They are also perfectly good aphrodisiacs and appetizers, sensory stimulation.

They can add variety to your routine but keep in mind that as with any large menu, you probably won't like everything on it. I encourage you to experiment all the same. Find your favorites, what you enjoy most, together, and don't worry too much if a particular position doesn't feel right or work for you. Move on. Do whatever feels good and natural. Make it up as you go.

Bon appétit! Have a sexcellent weekend. And keep thinking those sexy thoughts.

*position

Sweet dreams (are made of this)

Had to wait for almost a year but it finally happened. Got a visit from my grandfather, the gentleman I lost last November. I didn't see him in the dream. We talked on the phone and he told me there was somewhere I should go. He even gave me the address, or rather the name of a street. There's no such place (I checked), not verbatim, it's just a metaphor, but for what, that's for the subconscious to know and my conscience to find out. I just think it's interesting my mind chose him to deliver the message. Still, it was good talking to him.

I've been looking forward to this because it's not the same as looking at photos or reminiscing, it just isn't and I can't explain why. But the feeling of peace after one of those dreams...it's the closest to heaven you can get on this earth, or the closest I imagine I'll ever be. It's beauty and happiness of the bittersweet kind; you wake up smiling only to realize it was just a dream. Oh well. Such is life.

Another dream is a little closer to becoming reality, I see the finish line with this latest Romantica of mine! Doesn't that just make me wanna sprint when what I need to do is pace myself, gracefully glide across that line, not head-on with my tongue hanging out, my limbs about to give and with the taste of blood in my mouth. God I miss a proper workout. My shoulder is doing better but my foot is still shot. It turned out to be worse than I initially thought but it'll heal. If this is the Universe forcing me to stay put, BICHOK, it's working. Give me a limp et hop, I'll give you a book.

But who was I kidding thinking I could ever write full-time. No one literally writes full-time, it's exhausting, as fun but as draining as a proper workout. You can only go full throttle for so long before you have to recoup and replenish. I will admit to being a bit impatient to submit this book, though. Get it over with. Not because I'm sick of it but because I can't wait to see how it goes over with my editor. Big or lead balloon, I've liked the book all along, I've enjoyed working on it. Even when it's given me grief I've wanted nothing more than to sort it out. Wish me luck, will you? Then again, what's luck got to do with it?

Sleep tight, sweetie darlings. May the plot bunnies bite.

Maybe I'm amazed

Dita can't come to the blog right now. She has discovered the secret to BICHOK and it's bodily harm. She has harnessed all the restless surplus energy to polishing and submitting her latest piece of Romantica, and boy oh boy what a difference a sprained ankle and pulled shoulder makes! We wish her a less-than-speedy recovery and many mild injuries in the future!!

When asked about Frisky Friday and that SWOT analysis on sex positions/guides she'd been sketching, the answer was a terse and tight-jawed "Not. Now." We'd better leave her to it then. Who knows? Maybe she'll produce something publishable this time around. What was that? Totally unprintable and uncalled-for, is what it was. Temper, temper! Or a touchy subject, hmm? Hmm?!

Oh well. So that your sojourn wasn't a total waste of precious time, we'd like to offer you one of Miss Parker's favorite time robbers: male athletes in various stages of dress. (FYI: the clips contain sound. Some would go as far as to say music.)

Hmm. That doesn't impress us much, Señor Nadal, as lovely as it was. Most people are half the tennis player you are, maybe even less, but most people can run and take their shirts off at the same time. But. What Rafa and most of us can't do is what the talented Mr. Walters does at 0:59 and 0:57, respectively.

Now stop staring and get back to work.

Monday, Monday

Temperature: a sunny 10/50 degrees

Eating: stir-fried goodies; Hubby is a wok star!

Drinking: a fruity...milky...smoothie...something.

Watching: a hundred thousand different shades of yellow, orange and brown

Listening: to nothing in particular

Reading: see below

Writing: that never-ending story; oh the story has an ending, middle and beginning, it's the writing that seems endless.

Feeling: a slight ache in my left ankle and deltoid