Dita Parker

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

You've got the love

[This post first appeared on Cassandra Carr's blog on November 19, 2012.]

Happy IMD, everyone! The who in the what now? International Men's Day!

Ah, men. Sweet, strong men. Dependable, delectable men. Brave, baffling men. I think deep down, when-the-chips-are-down deep down, men and women are not that different from each other. But there are things, moments, insights, I've had the pleasure of experiencing only around men. Coincidence? Probably. Conclusive? Hardly. Fascinating? Absolutely.

Let's see...

The point of storage space is having extra storage space. Not actually storing things in those closets and on those shelves but having the option to do so.

When in doubt, don't consult the instruction manual, your partner, friend or anyone else for that matter. It's always best to keep your own counsel, because...

...if you want something done well, you're going to have to do it yourself. Even if you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.

If you think the grocery list reads 22 pounds of flour, don't question your partner's handwriting or sanity, don't exercise your own judgment, don't call home. Buy 22 pounds of flour. Go home. Your partner: "What am I going to do with 22 pounds of flour?" You: "That's what I'd like to know."

If you can't find a product on that list, don't consider another brand, not even if it looks and sounds identical. Again, don't call home. Buy nothing instead.

If you get sick, always turn it into a big production because if you're just a little sick you're not really sick. Better make it known one foot is firmly in the grave or else you have no business being sick. If you're really really honest to God sick, even then you're not really sick because you're The Man, the man everyone depends on, for everything. Everyone knows that. Especially you. Seek help when your head falls off. Take it under your arm and calmly tell the horrified hospital staff, "It's nothing." *death grunts* "Seriously. Nothing." *more death grunts*

Technology is your friend. Even when it is your foe. Even when pen and paper would have accomplished the same task in ten minutes, maybe five, it is nothing compared to the sense of triumph you feel after dueling with a piece of equipment or programming for five, maybe ten hours and coming on top. You may not be able to repeat the miracle, but then again victory wouldn't taste as sweet if anybody could do it whenever they wanted to, including you.

Get what I'm getting at? Having said all that, I will say this: I can't imagine life without my father or brother, my husband or sons, my friends or fantasy men, the male leads of my books. They've made me happy. They have never stood me up, they have stood by me. They have shown me a good time. They've made me feel all woman.

As for the woman haters I've had the misfortune of crossing paths with... Oh but you're missing out on all the affection and admiration women have in store for alpha males and deltas alike. You're still in the beta stage. Not beyond redemption but not exactly doing anything to improve gender relations, promote gender equality or act as a positive male role model, what International Men's Day is all about.

Ladies! Today, let's give the men in our lives an extra big kiss, huge hug or long call, just to let them know the world wouldn't be the same without them. I'll leave you in the big, capable hands of one Alexander Rifkin. There's a book making the rounds of the literary world and changing the look of covers with its subdued colors and subtle hints. Well, you don't need a suit and tie to get my attention. Flesh tones and a little (or lot, your call) skin still works for me. *sigh*  When they're beautiful, they're beautiful.

[You can ogle at my Alex standing to your right (scroll up a bit) and/or watch this most excellent and educational little film: ‘Furballs,’ or, how to inspect your ‘guineas’ for any abnormalities.]

Everything sounds better in French, n'est-ce pas?

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